Love, Sex, and Dating (book Review) snippet of blog to come

I recently read Love, Sex, and Dating by Andy Stanley interesting book I would highly recommend to anybody that is ready to settle down to read. This blog will touch on a few phrases from the book and give my thoughts on the phrases. This is just a preliminary free write version I will update this blog once I finish reading the book.

                On page 23 he wrote “In the end it comes down to two things chemistry and attraction.” I agree to a point with this statement. To be interested in dating somebody most of the time it start with lust or attraction, However just because a man is sexually attracted to a female don’t mean he want to settle down with her it is just that lust. Yes there is that attraction but without the chemistry that have them clicking more levels than lust chances are he not going to take the relationship seriously. As a result when you do get to know the person you tend to overlook those qualities you don’t like just to keep the sexual relationship going. This is why it is better to be good friends before you become lover. “You are sexually compatible with far more people than you relationally compatible with.” You can lust somebody and want to sleep without wanting to be with them relationally. Too often people get into these relationships that lack the relational foundation it need to survive. On page 26 “Not only is sex not litmus test for relational compatibility, it actually inhabits and distracts from relational development.” If you with somebody and the only level you connect with them is sexual the relationship is bound to fail. Having intercourse will not resolve communications or other relational problems. Creating a strong communication environment can open the door for resolving relational problems you may have.

                I’m absolutely convinced people who are committed to becoming the right person are better equipped to identify and avoid the wrong people along the way (page 48). Before you can look for somebody worth of settling down with first you have to work on yourself. Too often I see people jump into these relationships just because they don’t want to be alone. I refer to those relationships as rebound relationships they never work and not fair to the other person. Once you decide who you are and fix your own problem only then can you find see somebody that is relationally compatible. I once had a female tell me she saw the problems her relationship was having yet she still got married because she wanted what she wanted not what she deserve. After talking to her the biggest problems I saw with her dating methods is she was too desperate to settle down. She even mentioned she was searching for her next husband. She don’t realize 65% of second marriages end in divorce. In other words she only have a 35% chance that her second marriage will work. Therefore it might be a good idea for her to work on herself instead of looking for Mister Rite. Relationships is never stronger than its weakest link (page 57). If you not prepared to hold things down on yourself on the relational front in a relationship there is a chance the relationship will fail. I love the way the author said “You got to stop looking for Mister/Miss Rite and become Mister/Miss Rite.” The problems the author was talking about I see on the daily. Too often I hear women say they want this type of man and that type of man. What some of these women don’t realize is doing the things the doing they not going to attract the type of person they looking for. The reason the type of person they looking for is not going to want them is because he is going to see through their game and walk away.

                Reading this book has opened my eyes to relationship problems I have had in the past that I never slowed down long enough to see. While those issues was rite in my face I was blinded to them. A few I realized before I read this book others stuck out soon as the author mentioned it.